Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Hot Topic Tuesday: The Stay at Home Mom

I thought it would be fun to add a little controversy to the blog! There are so many topics flying around out there that people have varying opinions on and I thought it might be good to pick one day each week to discuss some of them.

This is NOT an opportunity to bash one another or tear one another down. Or to insist that your opinion is superior to all others. It IS an opportunity to learn something about a topic, or the reasons behind why people believe differently than you. I know that I am often closed minded and judgmental and once I find out the reasons behind a person's decision I view them in a different light. I might not change my mind but I do view that situation differently once I can see where both sides are coming from.

So let's get started. Today's topic is: The Stay at Home Mom.  I chose this topic because it's been on my mind a lot and I also have a lot of friends who fall on both sides of the fence. I have a strong type A personality and I also find it very difficult to sit still for too long. I enjoy being busy and I am also an extrovert. (I feel energized when I'm around other people) Oh, and I also like making money.

Because of this, it has been very hard for me to stay at home solely. I miss the social interactions, the pride found in working and the intellectual stimulation. It is important to me to have a goal, and then to take the steps to accomplish that goal. I realize I can have goals as a mom too, but those are somewhat different.

On the other hand, I really miss my kids when I leave them. (Which, since Charlotte has been born has been about 4 hours total in three weeks) I miss knowing what they are doing, what their schedule was like? How long they took their nap? Etc. Did I mention I have an A type personality? I also miss things like playing with them and seeing them learn and change each day. I know if I worked full time I would feel like I was missing so much.

So for me, I feel like a part-time flexible position is what I would like the most. This week I've gone back to doing real estate which is both part-time and flexible. I'm excited to have goals again, to be able to use my brain a little more and to also not really be away from my kids.

I realize that the things that are important to me may not be important to everyone, my personality drives my decision making. Regardless of your personality though, I think it's important for a mom to have outlets, specific times each week where they are able to talk to grown ups. For me this is manifested in things like book club, home group and church. Other mom's I know do Bible Studies and play groups which are good outlets as well.

It's important to remember that your job as a mom is the most important job you'll ever have. But it is not the only job you'll ever have, and it is not the only interesting thing about you.

Husbands, help your wives find some outlets a few times each week. Whether it's just leaving the house for an hour every Thursday evening so she can go try the new Caramel Flan Latte at Starbucks (it's good, but it's no White Chocolate Mocha), or meeting a group of ladies for dinner. She will so appreciate it.

So where do you stand? Do you work? Do you not work? What are your reasons? What topic would you like to see discussed next Tuesday?

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